It's an Elfstravaganza in "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree!"


Every year right after Thanksgiving the hunt for a Christmas tree begins, some real, some artificial. As a kid I loved looking for a real tree with my parents, but it seemed like every Christmas my mother would complain about tree needles all over the place. When I got married it was decided that we would have an artificial one, you might ask yourself what's wrong with that, have you ever seen the number of artificial trees that are on the market. Well I'm hear to tell you, buy a real tree, lot easier. Here are some tips when buying one..


The real trick isn't picking the right pine. It's getting it inside your home. But with my 15-point plan, you will be trimming in no time.

1) Cut the cords that bind the tree to the roof of your car. Allow them to snap back and strike you in the eye.

2) Curse.

3) Slowly pull the tree toward you.

4) Wobble under its weight for a few seconds, then fall down.

5) Curse.

6) Stand up and notice the fresh scratches in the roof of your car.

7) Curse.

8) Drag the tree to your front door. Spend 15 minutes figuring out how to open the door while simultaneously getting the tree through it.

9) Drag the tree away from the door so that you can enter with the tree facing in the right direction.

10) Once inside, fill the tree stand with water.

11) Knock all the water out of the tree stand because you forgot to wait to fill the tree stand until after putting the tree in it.

12) Curse.

13) Your tree should now be in the stand. Notice the fallen needles that have reduced your tree to half the size it was when you bought it.

14) Down seven cups of eggnog to settle your nerves.

15) Slur your curses.


While you are attempting to put up the tree you start listening to Christmas Carols on Itunes Christmas album. When your favorite comes on, do you hear what I hear? That's right, music is filling the air! Have you downloaded the latest holiday album? It had them caroling in the streets of Bethlehem centuries ago! The Little Drummer Boy's Greatest Hits: Includes the songs,

Pum Pum Pum Pum, Rum Pum Pum,Ba Rum Pum Pum, Rum Pum Pum Ba Rum Pum Pum, and special bonus track Pum Pum Pum, Ba Rum Pum Pum.


After all the hard work you did in making sure the family had the perfect Christmas tree and now your Christmas tree has practically become a member of the family, All that time spent selecting and decorating, and a week after Christmas, you see the tree by the side of the road, like a mob hit.


Glitter Text Maker